1:1 Coaching with Jes Diverges
Every chance you get, you grab your phone to “mindlessly” scroll while attempting to ignore the thoughts that have already started racing around your head.
That familiar sense of guilt starts looming in your chest as you think about your ever-growing list of things you need to do.
You give yourself a pep talk, that sounds closer to a drill sergeant: “Okay, put the phone down, get up, we were lazy yesterday, but today we get this shit done! Come on, get up!! NOW!!” You wonder, “Haven’t I rested enough??”
Guilt eventually pushes you up. You spend some time flitting between tasks, but can’t seem to get yourself to focus.
Distracted, you think about scrolling some more “until you’re ready to focus.”
Suddenly, it’s 8pm and you’ve spend another whole day doing absolutely nothing, knowing full well you’re going to start this same cycle all over again tomorrow.
Rinse and repeat.
So how do you stop the cycle? Radical self-love.
Ready to learn more?
Falling into the “doom spiral,” using it as a safety net even though you know it hinders your growth
Engulfed in moments of self-doubt, thinking “everyone else seems to know how to do this, what’s wrong with me that I don’t?”
Masking your true self to survive in various situations but never feeling authentic or grounded
Struggling with imposter syndrome that makes you question your abilities and makes it almost impossible to believe in yourself
Hesitating to reach out for help because you think that you should be able to figure this out on your own
Convincing yourself that your struggles aren’t “significant enough” compared to others, diminishing your own experiences
Feeling like you’re “stuck,” or not good enough, or are somehow inherently flawed/lazy/too oversensitive to be a responsible adult, are all telltale signs that shame is standing in your way of being able to truly love yourself and put yourself first.
In my program, we’ll dive deep into where shame comes from, how it hides the most interesting parts of you, and how to befriend your inner critic and learn to work with it, using radical self-love as your main tool.
Radical self-love goes beyond things like confidence, self-esteem, and self-acceptance. Self-love allows you to be kind and compassionate toward yourself even when you aren’t confident, or when you don’t believe you’re the greatest human.
Radical self-love helps you feel comfortable and sure about who you are.
When you love yourself this way, you don’t need other people’s approval and can trust your own beliefs and feelings to lead the way.
Simply put, radical self-love is more than just being okay with who you are; it’s about fully embracing and celebrating every aspect of yourself, giving you the strength and courage to live a happier life.
But it doesn’t stop there.
When you start practicing radical self-love, it’s tendrils will naturally continue to grow into other areas of your life, reaching your friends, your partner(s), your family, your job, essentially transforming your existence from a small, dark, shame-filled one to one full of abundant love, compassion, joy, and possibility.
That drill sergeant that lives in your head and is always criticizing everything you’re doing, whether it’s first thing in the morning or at the end of the day during the “daily evaluation”? He’s still a hard ass, but you learn how to make him laugh and get him to step aside.
When you befriend your inner critic, you quickly find the intelligence behind your protective skills and instincts. You learn what parts of yourself have been hiding, and can start embracing who you are underneath the mask.
You can allow your inner critic to retire, and give it the vacation it deserves for working so tirelessly to keep you safe all this time. And you can learn new, more comfortable, more sustainable ways to navigate stress and manage day-to-day life that don’t involve locking your truest self in a box.
Pretty cool, right? So… how do you get started?
I’ve spent the last 10+ years studying and practicing radical self-love after leaving an emotionally abusive relationship that showed me just how little I knew about how to take care of myself.
Some experiences that I’m able to look back on without shame thanks to radical self-love:
~ Dropping out of college and going back to school twice, with a different major each time
~ Getting bullied in school, in college, and at work just because they could tell something was “off” (hint: it was my autism)
~ Getting fired and spending years switching jobs, including spending a year unemployed before finding a job in my field
~ Dropping out of grad school again due to auDHD burnout that I’m still managing today
And here’s what my life looks like now:
~ Running my own business where I get to follow my passion for helping others
~ Being 100% in charge of my life without relying on other people’s expectations or opinions
~ Trusting that no matter what happens, whether it’s chaos or crisis, that I’ll be able to get myself to the other side of it
~ Setting firm boundaries without guilt and building stronger, deeper relationships because of it
~ Prioritizing fun and joy, and allowing all parts of myself to exist without shame or judgment
Because of radical self-love, I’m able to look back on all of the times in my life that I thought I was a complete and total failure with the brightest, most nostalgic eyes, knowing that whatever those past versions of me did was exactly the right decision for me at the time, holding space for all the pain and grief I endured, and grateful for the number of hard life lessons I’ve learned in my 31 years so far on earth.
And I can help you view yourself, and your life, in the same way.
My experience practicing self-love is backed up by:
~ Over 4,000+ hours of study and practice, both in academic settings and in real life
~ 2 years of embracing my newfound auDHD identity after discovering I am autistic and ADHD at 29 years old
~ A lifetime of helping others reconnect to their authentic selves, learn to set boundaries that match their needs, and advocate for themselves
I’ve compiled everything I know about radical self-love into my individual coaching program.
This program is flexible and can be catered to your individual goals and needs. Here is a general framework for what you can expect during our time together:
First, we focus on your relationship with yourself. This includes learning how to be nice to yourself, practicing self-compassion, working through shame and internalized ableism, and touching on mindfulness—tailored to suit neurodivergent brains.
We also delve into getting to know yourself better. This involves understanding your values, feelings, thoughts, and behaviors, and how they all interact with each other.
We’ll explore your typical patterns and cycles and how they show up in your life today. This can include trauma cycles and your natural energy cycles and flow.
We also talk about showing up for yourself with things like self-advocacy, setting your own boundaries, and essentially learning to be your own best friend.
Then, we move on to your relationship with others, like friends, family, romantic partners, or even your job.
The details:
Sessions are 60 minutes long and held via Zoom. You have the choice of scheduling your sessions weekly or bi-weekly (every other week)
A written summary of the main topics we discussed during the session, as well as a list of action and/or reflection steps to take next
Pre-session questions for you to reflect on before we meet to help guide our session and remember important topics (these are optional but very helpful for my auDHD clients!)
Email support from me during the day M-F for questions or reflections you want to share in between our sessions.
The cost is $150 per session. You can purchase as many or as little sessions as you like, but clients typically start to see concrete results in about 6-8 sessions. Please note that I am currently unable to offer sliding scale for individual coaching at this time.
If you're interested in learning more and seeing if we're a good fit for coaching, sign up for a free 30 minute consult today and I'll get all your questions answered!
Ready to learn more?